Letters Left Unsent

I used to write quite faithfully to my diary. By ‘write’ I mean literally write long-hand, using a pen, on paper, with no abbreviated words whatsoever.

Today at work, my trusty laptop broke down. No Internet, nothing to keep me occupied. So I cleaned my desk drawers. Underneath a pile of JO’s and Signed CE’s, I found my old diary from the years 2003-2006.  I was so entranced by all my drama during that time, I was such a hopeless, hopeless romantic. 

I particularly had this thing of writing letters I’d never send. I’d just spill my heart out to that person, randomly writing, being mushy and gooey and so hopelessly lovelorn. Looking back, it’s amusing, but at that time, I  really meant every word I wrote.

Here’s one example:

Dear Science Classmate,

You make the 3-hour periods worth it. Even the surprise quizzes and the long boring lectures. Seeing a glimpse of your sweet smile makes up for it. You will always be that boy who stole my heart right from the start.

AWESOME. Lovesick, sappy and utterly hopeless. Hahahaha

Well, I never had the guts to approach this boy, much less give him the letter. But it’s all good. Somehow, it’s fun looking back and having that fairy-tale boy you adored, untarnished by the realities of life. I guess, in my mind, that boy, whereever he is now, will remain that boy who made 3 hours of Science class so worth it.

So, whether you’ll read this or not, thank you, dear boy. You make reminiscing my “youth” so much sweeter.

And even if we’re both happy with our respective lives (I’m sure you are, you’re that sort of person), I’m still glad that when I press “publish”, this unsent letter will be unsent no more.

Feeling so restless these days.
I want to fly.
I want to keep on living by the beach.
I want to keep on dreaming.

Blog Update!

Heeeeeere we go!

LJ. For the survey posts. And the purdeeeee layouts!
Tumblr. ‘Cause Tumblr rocks. And I like making lists.

I have rediscovered my appreciation for wordpress. So I’ve been updating more frequently. HAH. My multiply site has turned into a photodump. Everyone’s so lazy to update anything over there. Facebook has turned into my mobile phone. It’s where I keep in touch with all my friends.

I have not succumbed to Twitter yet. I prefer Plurk for those kinda things. Is there an online blogsite/social networking site I have not attempted to join? I think not. I am keeerrraaaazeee that way.

And speaking of crazy, would you believe I am only just watching the Saw movies now?
Horror flick FAIL. I am having a marathon tonight!

Anyone want to scream with me?

Blog Block

I’m on this major blog block lately. I don’t know what to write, I don’t know what to talk about. Hmm…

I’ve been trying really hard not to go TMI* on you. So a rambling story of what I’ve been doing lately is a no-go. I don’t wanna jinx certain plans, so I refuse to post it anywhere in the blogosphere.

Which leaves me stuck. UGH. I hate that.

I really want to write about the Obama-McCain elections, ’cause it’s really interesting. But… as if I know anything about politics.

I do have something to say against Sarah Palin though. I don’t like the way she’s playing up that charming facade. I don’t buy it. Even I know it doesn’t take good looks and quirky, cute quips (“You betcha!” and soccer mom jokes) to be second-in-command for the most powerful country in the world. I mean, COME ON. She gives women a bad name. She showed how… un-informed she can get (Hello, Katie Couric), thus making it seem that all women can ever do is be pretty and charming. GEEZ. Thank God for Tina Fey. Now that is wit.

Anyhoo. That’s that for the US Elections.

Hmmm, I want to watch a movie. But I don’t know which one to see: Max Payne, Body of Lies or Tropic Thunder?

I just finished reading Mark Haddon’s The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time and it’s a must-read. Really well-written. It turned a simple story into something unforgettable. I loved it.

I haven’t been writing much poetry lately. Hmmm… maybe soon. I think I need a fresh approach.

Oh would you look at that? It’s a blog entry! *sighs*

——————

*TMI = Too Much Information

Decluttering

WAH. Long, heartfelt post, and it got deleted. =(

Err. Okay, I’m not re-writing. It’s all good. *sigh*

BACK TO WORK! =)

The point: new blog layout, new outlook in life. THAT IS ALL.

Going Full Circle

After staying away for a year and 4 months, I’m going back to the world of advertising. I spent 9 months writing for websites, and 7 months doing PR, and those jobs have been fun. But this opportunity knocks, and I just had to grab it, or else I would never stop wondering what new adventures I would be missing.

Call me a serial monogamist when it comes to jobs, but believe me, it was a tough decision. In the end, I had to follow my gut feel. And my gut said to take this job.

It was embarrassing, having to tell my superior that I was resigning, after only 7 months working for the company, but I really had to do this for myself.

“Ikaw naman ,” Sharkboy said. He couldn’t have said it better. He’s been enjoying his job, passionate with his work, still excited over new projects. And maybe he sees the same excitement from me this time. Maybe he sees how giddy I feel just at the thought of being able to immerse myself (fully) in advertising again. I thought my last advertising job put me off from the industry forever, but apparently not. Once you’ve tried it, it’s really hard not to go back.

And he’s right. “Ako naman.” I think it’s time I pursued a career, not just a job. Since I resigned from my first job last January, I’ve been pursuing “transitional” jobs. Maybe this time, I’ll stick to this, even after the honeymoon period is over.

And so I’m doing it again, saying my goodbyes, squaring off my shoulders to face a new world. It’s not going to be easy, but I’m going to make the most out of it. There are sacrifices I have to make, new discoveries, new learnings, but it will work out for the best. This time, I feel I’m actually heading somewhere.

So, wish me luck as I start this new job. It’s my time. =)

Breathe.

It’s been hectic. And crazy. And I need a moment. A blog break.

I get so impatient for things to happen sometimes. I feel that I look too much to the future, to what I want, that I forget to live in the present. I keep on saying, “someday…” that sometimes, I forget to live in the Now.

I’m scared. Things overwhelm me sometimes (this is work, friends). So much to do. I take on so many things, so many little tasks I’m not sure if I’m mature enough to handle them.

I’m scared of time passing, too. April will come and go in a blink, next thing I know, I’ll be shopping for Christmas again. Next thing I know, I’m old and whithered and nothing to show for it.

I’m scared of who I’m becoming…

Geez. I think my blog break just stressed me out more. BLECH.

Fourth

1, 2, 3, 4… count ‘em! =(

Sigh…

It’s been too long. Yesterday was bliss. But will still not count. I’ve never been so… lost in my entire life. =| Prolly ’cause something else is nagging at me. It’s just so frustrating. Haaay.

Some random thoughts:

Have you ever missed someone so badly it makes you fidgety and distracted and you totally lose all semblance of patience?

Have you ever seen someone so annoyingly… wrong, that you just shut your eyes to avoid saying something nasty?

Have you ever wanted something so bad that you just. cannot. wait. And your EQ level just drops, and you want it NOW. NOW. NOW? *sigh*

I cannot wait any longer for my lomo photos. And for Cheeby to get better. =( *sigh*

Gahd. Kills me now.

Yes, I’m ranting again

^ I don’t wanna second-guess you anymore.
^ I’m bored with the daily grind.
^ I haven’t really gotten much rest during the Holy Week.
^ Get well na, Sharkboy. 
^ I just wanna take pictures all day, practice with Nikon and my plastic babies.
^ A good long swim at the beach or any pool would feel good, too.
^ My corporate writing skills are sorely lacking these days. Ack.
^ I hate cold and silent treatments. AGH.
^ I wanna go shopping but Glorietta bores me these days.
^ Boo to corporate attire. I miss wearing my Chucks to work.
^ I’ve been having bad dreams for weeks already. =(
^ I blame Anita Shreve’s The Weight of Water for giving me one of the worst dreams last week.
^ I need to trim my bangs soon.
^ Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh.

Random Rundown

ramblings, chika, kwento, atbp.

- I’m such a lazybone. I haven’t gone to the gym in two weeks! I just didn’t have the energy to wake up at 5 freakin’ thirty so I won’t be late for work. Argh. To make up for the laziness, I’ve been doing 5-minute stair climbing exercises for two days now, and half-hearted crunches. Just to get my blood running. HAHAHA. Shet. Ang tamad ko.

- Another new addiction (c/o Sharkboy): harry potter trading card games. OMG. the geekness. But I love it. It adds that I’ve managed to whup Sharkboy’s ass in some instances. *ahem*

- One addiction for another, Enzo introduced Mikey to the Timezone world. Woohoo. Last Sunday, we went arcade crazy (Maximum Tune!). I’ve never been good with hand-eye coordination, but simulated arcade games are so much fun. Hehe.

- I’ve been sleeping weird lately. One time, I dreamt of Ima, and I introduced her to Mikey, and I woke up crying. The other night, I dreamt I was being tickled until I couldn’t breathe, and I woke up realizing that I really couldn’t breathe. Last night, I slept early at 11 pm, woke up at 12 am to read my phone’s messages, was woken up by mommy at 1 am because I was holding my phone and was afraid I’d drop it (I sleep on the second level of a double-deck bed), woke up at 3 am to find that my sister still hasn’t arrived from work, and woke up three more times for no reason.

- Angelina Jolie is pregnant again. Another “blob” to accompany Shiloh, perhaps?

- Our team’s going to Batangas on March! Wee. I hope the weather clears up soon. SUN, come out now!!! I’m still bringing my lomo cameras, rain or shine. Take that, rains! But geesh. What do you with a 12-person group for three days and two nights? Methinks we’ll either get bored out of our asses, or kill each other by Sunday. Urk. (fine, fine, they plan on getting blitzed, but I don’t want to get blitzed! *sigh*)

- Finally saw Enzo’s graduation pictures. He looks so binata na.

- The Lozada case is crazy like a soap opera.

- I plan on listing down every single movie I’ve watched this year. So by December 2008, I’ll pick my favorite. As of today, I’ve watched I am Legend (scary), Anchorman (finally! what a laughtrip), P.S. I Love You (mush), The Bucket List (inspiring), Juno (fun!), and Vantage Point (exciting but predictable).

- I’m done distracting myself, now I can go back to work. Heh. =p