Oh, New York City.
For all your bad smells, crazy people, and dirty subways, you got under my skin and made me fall madly in love with you.
Now every time I see a movie set in your urban wildness, my heart skips a happy beat.
I want to come back and get to know you longer. I want to live in your majestic buildings, and dance under your night lights. ❤
I am so glad that we pushed through with this.
Korea is GORGEOUS in Spring. ❤
I am officially in love with this country.
When The Ex and I broke up, I thought that I had lost a Love. I thought that I had lost a great person in my life. I had wallowed in sorrow and could-have-beens. I was inconsolable.
And then, as my family and friends promised, it got easier.
In a sudden burst of clarity, I shifted my perspectives. It’s NOT a loss, it’s an opportunity gained. If it had to end, it wasn’t Love to begin with. And I emphasize “Love” as the Love found in fairytales and happy endings. Sure, we had a good kind of Love, when we were together. Sure, he’s a great person. But in the end, things just won’t end up the way you expect it to.
This is just Destiny’s way of telling me that I need to rethink my motivations and realign my perspectives.
I’ve learned to realize that it’s not a heartbreak, but a chance to build up genuine emotions. It’s not a let-down, it’s a chance for me to spread my wings and explore. It’s not losing someone special in my life, it’s giving someone amazing a chance to make me happy.
With my new-found set of perspectives, I am now excited to go out into the world and learn to live again.
I’ve always been in love with Japan. I had an unhealthy obsession with a Japanese pop star when I was in college, and to this day, I may or may not still be hoping to meet a guy who looks JUST like him.
So it’s always been my dream to visit Japan once in my life. Knowing that it’s pretty expensive to travel there, I never really saw this as a short-term dream.
AND THEN IT HAPPENED.
I was asked by my company to go to Japan for the Tokyo Motor Show. You could never imagine how ecstatically happy I felt. It felt like a dream, it was the best feeling.
True enough, I fell madly in love with Japan. It was freezing cold when we went, and I absolutely adored it. Awesome, awesome experience. Anyway, enough raving, and more showing. Here are some photos from that epic trip last December.
This trip is one thing unexpectedly ticked off my bucket list. ❤
Storm Trooper saying 'Goodbye' to Japan from my hotel room.
I thought that with recent events, I would lose my hold on anything light and happy. I remember that I spiraled into this dark place, and I felt that I was a different person altogether. I was so angry. I was so hurt. I was so sad. I really felt that light part of myself fading away.
And then, I chose life.
I know that I am different. I know that I am infinitely different than the Tanya of 5 years ago. Hell, even the Tanya of 5 months ago. I cannot claim to be the same person but I know that I am an improved version. If anything, this has taught me that there really is no point in hating or berating myself. It has taught me that I have a strength that comes from inside of me.
I am thankful that my family and friends have surrounded me with love and acceptance and joy. I’ve reconnected with myself, and I see life again with cheer and joy. Darkness and sadness just doesn’t fit well with me.
Here I am and I am back. I am looking forward to hoping and living and loving again.
I am looking forward to FLYING AGAIN.
It’s time for a change. I was looking through some photo blogs, and got inspired to improve this blog.
I am excited to redesign, recreate and redirect my blog.
Watch out for new things, this is only the beginning.
You just have to give yourself a chance to be happy again.
Sometimes, you just have to stop blaming yourself for the end of a relationship.
Sometimes, you just have to accept that THINGS HAPPEN. That PEOPLE CHANGE. That LOVE FADES. No matter how happy you were.
Sometimes, you just have to forgive yourself.
I am not there yet. I have so many regrets, so many thoughts, so much anger in my heart. But I won’t let this stop me from being who I want to be. And from reaching my dreams.
In one of our fights, I had a sinking realization that I was losing the “fairytale” mindset when it comes to love. And in hindsight, I realize now that I shouldn’t have. I should have held on to it. This letting go, this Goodbye, is me holding on to fairytales and romance and happy-ever-afters. This is me, learning to hold on to Myself and to what I believe in.
Sometimes, you have to let go of Love, to learn to Love again.
When I get so overwhelmed with life’s stressful moments, Sharkboy never fails to remind me to be thankful.
It’s easy to be thankful when you’re having a great time. You’re on vacation at a beach, you see a gorgeous sunset, it’s easy to breathe a big ‘Thank You.’
But when you’re having a rough week, when nothing seems to go right, it’s very easy to fall into the trap of self-pity and loathing. It could get horribly out of hand. I’ve sometimes lashed out at Sharkboy because of work stress. It is not a pretty sight. Thankfully, he is patient enough to remind me to be grateful. And before I know it, I’m calm and more productive.
Today, I am feeling very blah. Not because life is too hectic, but because it isn’t. Hah.
So, an exercise in gratitude. Here are the things I’m thankful for these days 🙂
That’s not even half of what I’m thankful for. I can seriously go on and on with this. I guess I just needed to put this up here as a reminder.
Life is beautiful, when you see it with grateful eyes. ❤
With everything in life, if you really want to make it work, you’ve got to INVEST. May it be time, money or emotions, you’ve really got to go that extra effort and make it happen.
It’s all about knowing if all that investment will be worth it. 🙂
My investment has been paying off quite well. Almost 5 years now, still very fruitful. I get a healthy Return on Investment, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything else. ❤
Ack! My first major booboo!
Rarrrr.
Must focus next time.
On the other hand, thank God my work doesn’t require me to save people’s lives. Because if it did, I would have killed about a hundred people by now. Hah.
Gahd. I guess that means no shoe shopping for the next few weeks. SAD FACE.
Swimming in Bubbles 